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Road Rules Broken |
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Written by Jason Mahokey
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Wednesday, 13 June 2007 |
Road Rules Broken and Lessons Learned
Every year I feel the need to RE-learn some Road Rules. My "Road Rules" are sort of a combination of Murphy's Law, mistakes and bizarre superstitions. Last week I RE-learned some of my rules the hard way as I set out for a day in the saddle. Here are a couple of examples:
Road Rule #1: If you think about dropping your bottle on the first climb of the day, you WILL drop said bottle and be forced to stop and pick it up.
My ride started on a short flat section of road and then quickly headed up hill. Most of the climb can be done seated but one part kicks up pretty good and demands some out of the saddle climbing. When the climb leveled out just before the lip fluttering 40 MPH descent, I reached down, grabbed some HEED and took a hit. Then just as I thought- "Hey, wouldn't it suck if I dropped his bottle right now.." THWUMP! The bottle shoots out of my hands, wedges briefly between my crank and chain stay and then kicks out into some gravel. Great.
Part of me wanted to just keep on going, but at 5 minutes into a planned 3 hour ride in 80 degree heat, I really didn't want to leave 24 oz. of electrolyte goodness laying on the side of the road. SSSSSo I had to turn around and get off the bike to pick it up. I'm sure this brought added amusement to the passing drivers who I'm SURE were already thinking that I was a bit of a dork.
#Road Rule #2 and #2B: If you're 3 miles from your starting point and think to yourself "I forgot to pack tire levers and these new tires are a b*tch to get on/off without them." go back and get the tire levers! #2B: If you don't go back and get your tire levers (and you know you didn't) you WILL get a flat 5 miles into your ride.
After the dropped bottle the ride was going fine (for the next 4 miles) the legs felt spanky. The weather was pristine and I was looking to do 3 hours on the road. At mile 4.9 I was flagged down by a dude wanting directions to a local park a few miles down the road.
As I'm telling him where he needed to go I heard a noise that I assumed was his car's AC hissing or someting. Well what it ACTUALLY was, was my rear tire.. pssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss...
I realized this as I took about three pedal strokes and realized I was on my rim. Nice. I'm out in a section of roads that are NOT the greatest. Hick city. The types of roads where you would NOT be surprised to happen upon a bunch of shirtless guys, sporting mullets, drinking Busch pounders and trying setting road kill on fire just to watch it burn.
I was in a pickle. No levers, no cell phone (I don't own one), 5 miles from my car, and a set these thumb blistering tires! Well being that I wasn't going to go knocking on any doors dressed like I was, I opted to try to get the tire off with just my hands. Ah, that was a big NO! So I took my Bontrager QR and used it as a lever. This was gonna work! But I would need another. So I had to take off the front wheels too.
I believe that changing out a tube in a road tire HAS to be one of the "levels of hell". I was now at the 20 minutes and counting mark for this tire change. Granted some of that time was spent staring off into space praying that if any locals stumbled upon me that they would be gentle.
I finally got the tire off and a new tube in. NOW I have to hope I can get the tire seated without tearing the tube. OK, did that NOW time for Co2. PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!! Done. Worked! Sweet!
I finished nearly 30 minutes later and I now have about as much interest in doing a ride now as I do in having a colonoscopy. Than and I was NOT going to chance another flat and another 30 minute tire change!
Mountain tires are SO freaking easy to change! Why must road tires be the devil's work! Those narrow tires, with those tiny little tubes! Good grief!!
I rode back to the car, via the HUGE hill I just came down earlier (rather well too, one of the day's highlights) and back to the Soob. Tomorrow I will ride my mountain bike, I will carry no tire levers and if I flat I will have it changed in a few minutes rather than a half hour.
I chalked the day up to some lessons learned the hard way. I bailed on the ride and that sucked, but I went home and did some minor homer repairs with some minor success. So I didn't waste the whole day.
Some side notes: I did end up road riding the next day. I felt I needed to redeem myself from my Saturday debacle. I carried 2 tire levers, I got my 3 hours/50 miles in and worked on my bike geek tan. It was great. What wasn't great was going down to my basement the next morning to discover another flat rear tire. My 3rd in 3 weeks. After some tube inspection I've come to the conclusion that my 2+ year old rim tape just MIGHT be too worn to hold up to the demands of 115 PSI and have put some fresh Velox rim tape on.
So I guess Road Rule #3 could be if you're getting an unusual amount of flats, CHECK YOUR RIM TAPE! Your just might save yourself some hassle and some tubes.
Jason
"The Soiled Chamois" |
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